Jesus was home in a hidden and obedient life for 30 years before he began his public ministry. But then as soon as he began that ministry within 3 short years, he changed the world.
We know that Jesus had perfect filial obedience to his Father in heaven. God the Father willed 30 silent years before Jesus was to rock the lives of Jews and gentiles alike. I sit in relative silence right now. I have a platform and I do have people listening to the things God has to say through me, but it’s small, contained, safe to experiment and practice. I’ve grown in knowledge of the process of podcasting and writing. I’ve been studying in a Master’s program and gaining knowledge in Theology of the Body and the New Evangelization which has impacted my ministry immensely.
Greatest of all, I’ve been on a path of growing in holiness. I have been combatting, with God’s help, some recurring sins that have been plaguing my life. God has been opening my eyes to my need for total and complete reliance on him. God has been humbling me through experiences I would rather keep private but that are becoming more and more public.
Humility is something very hard for me. I struggle to admit that I don’t know it all. Part of the reason I started my Master’s degree program is so that I could say that I do know it all! But I don’t. The more I learn, the more I realize I know so very little. Sometimes I get discouraged that I have no right to be speaking on these topics of which I actually have very little understanding.
But then I get a little push to keep going. I get a message from a new listener who just found my podcast and is listening to every episode. I get an email saying “I was at a loss and feeling so alone and then I found your podcast and I feel like you are journeying with me.” I get a random influx of new followers on Instagram who are hungry for the truth around sexuality and marriage.
I’m reminded that it’s not me that is doing any of this. I’m the conduit for God’s grace. He is leading this ministry. Right now, he is keeping it on the quiet side while he slowly and patiently cleanses me of my sin and my egotistical nature. I often take one step forward, two steps back, five steps forward, and then a few more steps back again. Slowly God is teaching me to trust Him. Slowly I am learning to let Him lead.
At some point, if it is God’s will, this ministry will explode faster than I can even imagine. I know God wants this information out there and he wants me sharing what we share. It’s up to Him. He will know when I’m ready.